Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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