Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
