I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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