Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
