Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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