She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
