I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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