We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
