and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
