My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
