Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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