Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
