I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
