I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
