so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
