I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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