i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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