but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
