I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
