Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
