areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
