Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize