I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
