I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
