They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU