she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
