R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
