Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
