he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
