Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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