i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
