This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
