He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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