And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
