i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
