peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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