IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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