Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize