i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My liver just had a heart attack.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
