the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
