Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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