please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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