I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
