I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
