are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
