I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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