she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
