we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
