she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
