i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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