so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
