Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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