Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
