Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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