wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
