who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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