video games are the ultimate cock blocker
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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