a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Help. Why am I so naked?
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