she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
