Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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