Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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