yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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