Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
True but thats because hes a fetus.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
